Journal Excerpt:
"Lately my walk has felt out of sorts. Sunday I felt so disconnected from the sermon, and I don't like it. Distant. I hate writing this but I am afraid to ask God to bring me closer and to do whatever it takes because I'm afraid that it will mean losing another baby or not conceiving or something happening to my family. I know in the back of my mind that if those were the ways that He chose to draw me closer, then they would be worth losing, but I'm afraid, because I don't want to lose them. God, please bring me closer to Yourself no matter the cost, and remind me that the cost is worth it, because I'm struggling to believe that right now. I'm so afraid to lose more, and struggling to see that I'd be gaining.
We had our 27th person join Carried to Jesus yesterday. It's amazing to me to see how God is bringing the girls/women along who need the support. Some of the women say nothing, but a number of them share on a regular basis and really seek to support each other through things. One huge thing that God has done as a result of Judah. And yes, it's because of Judah! A huge blessing from ashes that were so painful and still ache inside."
My treasures...
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