I haven't posted in a little while because I have been struggling a bit with everything in general. Putting baby toys away since my kids are too big for them and Judah won't be here to use them. Seeing reminder after reminder that I lost my baby and I don't know when I'll be given another. Knowing that this year I was to birth Judah in two months time, but now I won't. Looking around me and finding absolute chaos as we are STILL not moved and still working to finish renovations. Feeling completely overwhelmed by the cleaning, packing, and unpacking that I will need to do within two weeks while balancing two little kids. Struggling to trust God that His ways are better. And more... Then I was reading my Bible this morning and in 1 Cor. 1 it is talking about God using the foolish things and the weak things to show Himself, and I felt chastised for not sharing. For not showing the struggles lately and only showing the "good things." If God desires to use my weaknesses and inadequacies to show Himself more fully, then I don't want to miss out on that! I look around me and wonder sometimes how He can use ME of all people, but He can, so that no one gets the glory but Himself. "therefore, as it is written: 'let him who boasts boast in the Lord.' When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I am resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling... So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." 1 Cor. 2:1-3,5
I don't know what God is doing in and through me, but I want to be used by Him in both my good days and bad. I'm sorry for not allowing you to see the work (throughout my weakness and struggling) He's been doing in me because of my own pride. To God be the glory!
My littlest living joy!
My 2nd littlest living joy!
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