8 January 2013

I'm finding it amazing how in the midst of missing Judah I have such absolute joy in seeing one after another of women I've been praying for have healthy pregnancies and babies. I really believe that God does ease the heartache when we run to Him and instead of focusing constantly or soley on our own loss and hurt, focus on praying for and loving others through it. I've been learning and loving the joy of praying for others and seeing the answers to my prayers - them receive what I myself treasure so much. Wow. Thank You, Jesus!


Journal Excerpt:

"Two months ago last night Judah died. Two months ago tonight we confirmed it. Two months ago in two days I gave birth to my third child. Where has time gone? The initial sting has lessened but I still miss him like crazy. Especially sometimes as more people get pregnant. If this keeps up, God is definitely working to answer my prayers for this year, that all the girls who are trying, get pregnant and deliver full term, healthy babies this year! Wow!

I also have a lot of peace regarding getting pregnant again, at least for now. We will see what happens over the next couple of months, but if I get pregnant this month, I'll be due in October. If next month, then my due date will be right around Judah's birthday. And so forth. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control even if I'm not pregnant for a long time to come."