9 December 2012 - Hard Times

I'm having a hard day and week. We've had one after another of our hopes and plans fall through, and I feel like I'm losing my close friends, from my grandma and Judah dying a month apart, to my in laws having to cancel coming for Christmas, to having to cancel seeing Joel's sister and family, my sister, and some of my best friends from growing up because of finances and our housing situation. I could cry. I'm struggling watching my hair fall out from hormones, feeling like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster as my hormones change, missing Judah, dealing with a sick son so I missed MOPS and church (thus not seeing friends), overdoing things myself because we HAVE to get things done on our house and I've fallen behind on so many other things. I haven't been able to make cookies, do much decorating, get my cards out that are on my table, or really go Christmas shopping in person, which I usually love to do! I feel really alone, overwhelmed, emotional, and like this is the worst Christmas ever. Joel told me that maybe God is just preparing to make it the best ever in ways we never expected, but I'm honestly really struggling to see that right now. Please be praying for me...