2 December 2012

I'm up late... Just mind full of three weeks ago this minute. Holding my little Judah in my arms, trying to treasure and cement in my mind every little detail before I have to give him up. I miss him. And I hate how the memories do fade with time. I want them to stay vivid in each detail. A friend came over to watch my kids for 1.5 hours today so I could have a few minutes to work on my memory book, etc. of Judah. I just keep praying that God will keep these memories alive at least long enough for me to record them. It seems like forever ago yet just yesterday. Still hurts. I keep wondering what it will be like if I ever get to birth a living baby again. What will it be like to hear that first cry? To see my baby take his or her first breath? I pray that God allows me that privilege again. I will treasure it more than I ever have...